They say a picture is worth a thousand words. And nowadays, it is very easy to share those pictures with others, posting them on Facebook, Instagram, SnapChat… As fun as it is to share and view beautiful vacation photos, adorable kid pics, selfies, and other amazing moments, I will admit that at times I feel some “Instagram insecurity.” That thought of, “Oh wow, look at what that person is doing with her life…she’s so happy and successful…every day.” Which inevitably leads to me thinking, “Jeez, what the heck have I accomplished? I’m not happy every single day…what’s wrong with me?”

And then I remind myself that those posts are the highlights, the successes, the wins. They are not the whole picture. But as rational as that sounds, I must admit that when Maureen Walsh called me this summer to ask me to speak at Founders Day, as flattered as I was, I had a similar reaction. Immediately, the well-known picture of our five founders came into my mind. These five confident, intelligent, ground-breaking women looking so poised and self-assured, rocking their high collars and long skirts. It was like an Instagram post from 1885: “Just founded @BrynMawrSchool for Girls with my squad! #changingtheworld #nostoppingusnow #wegotthis”

And the Instagram insecurity set in. How can I adequately honor and thank these five amazing women in one speech? How can I possibly sum up what Bryn Mawr, the school they founded, means to me?

Many of my own Bryn Mawr “Instagram moments” came to mind – wonderful friends, beloved teachers, Gym Drills, theater productions, Dayseye, graduation in my awesome big puffy sleeved dress (which was really “in” in the ’80s), teaching in the Lower School, my colleagues, my students, having my nieces and daughter here with me…the list goes on and on. But as I thought more about my many years on this campus, I realized that it has been this community’s reaction to my not so “picture perfect” moments that makes this place so special, that makes this a place I seem unable to leave even when things don’t work out the way I hope.

It’s easy to celebrate accomplishments and milestones – people are always happy to celebrate with you. But the mark of an amazing community is how it supports you when things aren’t going so well. Those defeating moments when you are not at your best, when you don’t get what you want, when it feels like the work didn’t pay off, when your plans are totally derailed, when you fall down and have to get back up. And although I have loved my 34 years on this campus, I have not loved every day.

So let me back up and tell you some of my experiences here at Bryn Mawr. Some of those experiences that I would NOT post on Facebook. It all began in 1975. I would love to tell you that my parents sought out Bryn Mawr because I was so brilliant and extraordinary. But no. My parents planned for my two sisters and me to attend our local elementary school. My older sister went there and did very well. Then it was time for me to start school. Although I don’t remember much of that school experience myself, I am told that I did not have a very good year in kindergarten. Apparently I got upset easily and I was needy – dare I say, high-maintenance. So my parents sought out Bryn Mawr, thinking that the smaller classes, the focus on girls, the additional attention and the caring, tightknit community would be a better fit. They were right. I loved being a student at Bryn Mawr. I loved my teachers and my friends. I loved coming to school. Learning was fun, particularly in math and science. By senior year, my schedule consisted of English (only because four years of English was required for graduation), Calculus, and three science courses. I was going to Duke University to be a chemistry major, just like my dad. I had it all worked out.

Well, apparently the admission people at Duke were not aware of this plan. I was rejected. Not wait-listed. No second semester admit. Rejected. I sat outside the senior room with a roll of toilet paper and sobbed. It was ugly. No Instagram photo op here. #collegefail.

Thank goodness my classmates were there for me. I still remember them comforting me, openly sharing stories of their own rejection letters, telling me it was Duke’s loss – if Duke didn’t want me, I didn’t want Duke. Of course, it all worked out and I was admitted to college. And perhaps Duke was not the right fit and everything worked out as it should have. But it didn’t feel like that on that day, feeling I had let everyone down: my teachers, my father, myself. That day just felt awful. But I am grateful that I had that day here, on this campus, with classmates who helped me get back up.

Fast forward to college. I did indeed start out as a chemistry major but, as much as I continue to love science, I came to discover that being a research scientist (my original plan) was not what I wanted. I was drawn to courses about topics such as writing children’s literature and teaching elementary school math. I worked part time as an aide at a local preschool and discovered my love of teaching. I had found how I could make a difference. #changingtheworld

After college, I was living and working in Chicago. My plan was to attend graduate school for a master’s in education and teach elementary school. Although I loved Chicago, I really wanted to be back in Baltimore and of course, my dream was to teach at Bryn Mawr. And then…there was a job opening! It was for a Middle School English and Drama teacher. I would be perfect, I told myself! I love drama! I want to teach, and to be back at Bryn Mawr would be a dream come true.

I flew in for the interview. It went well, I thought. Granted, most of my experience and school work focused on math and science, and I really wanted to teach elementary school, but this was sure to work out. It was meant to be! That is...until I did not get the job. I was devastated and yes, there was crying involved. No Instagram photo op here. #careerfail

Of course, in hindsight I can see that I was not the ideal candidate, that this job was not the best fit, and that I was better off waiting for the right position. But it didn’t feel like that on that day, the day that my dream of teaching at Bryn Mawr was not to become a reality. That day just felt awful. But I am grateful that I had that day here, on this campus, with former teachers who helped me get back up.

Those former teachers, Elaine Christ and Cornelia Donner, who was the Middle School Director at the time, encouraged me to stay in touch. They assured me that although I was not the best candidate for this position, they thought I had real potential as a teacher. They encouraged me to continue to work towards my goal, suggesting I take a course in Chicago to get started. Cornelia connected me with then Lower School Director Peggy Bessent. The following year, a position opened up, and it truly was perfect for me. I would be a third grade homeroom teacher and, as part of the position, I would be teaching eighth grade drama. Bryn Mawr and Peggy took a chance on me, and I was hired. #nostoppingmenow.

I returned to Bryn Mawr as a young, inexperienced, eager-to-learn teacher and the support I received from my colleagues was critical to my success. My co-teachers were always willing to give me suggestions while putting up with my endless questions and desire to discuss theory versus practice as I progressed through graduate school. Over the years, it has been very special for me to work with colleagues who were my teachers: Laurel McDermott, Josh Shoemaker, Dave Stephens and Jeanette Budzik, just to name a few. One of my Lower School colleagues was the Lower School Director when I was a student. Although she was Ms. Reid back then, we know her as Mrs. Mills. Along with her students, I have benefited so much from Mrs. Mills’ endless patience, thoughtful approach to a problem, and years of classroom experience. She is just one example of the talented people on this campus who I learn from every day.

Fast forward again to 2008, when my daughter Meredith started kindergarten right here at Bryn Mawr. As a teacher, I had spent many years working with lots of parents and seeing lots of parenting styles. I have worked with parents who, with all good intentions, are quick to swoop in and fix a situation for their child, intervening before their child has a chance to work it out for herself. As an educator, I feel strongly that as hard as it is, we as parents need to allow our children to be age-appropriately independent, to try things on their own even if they fail, to learn how to fall and get back up. I encourage my students’ parents to do just that. I remember when Amanda Macomber spoke to us as sixth grade parents at Middle School orientation and said this very thing: “Stay involved, but let your daughter take the lead. Let her try it on her own, even if she fails. We, as the adults in her life, are here to help her get back up.” As she spoke, I remember thinking, “Absolutely. 100% agree. I got this.”

Each year, the Middle School holds a Founders Day poetry contest, with the winning poem read by the author at Founders Day. This year's winner was Mia Boydston '23.